I can explain.... divine intervention?

It's November 10th at 3 am in the morning..... I sit straight up from a dead sleep, wake Glen up, and tell him "I'm totally PREGNANT". Glen replies with an "ok take a pregnancy test" then he laughs, and tells me to go back to sleep. Meanwhile I'm debating on if I have to get out of bed to throw up, or if I can just lay back down and sleep off the nausea.

A week later goes by and I still have not purchased a pregnancy test. I knew there was no way I was really pregnant seeing as I have been on birth control and I'm still nursing a baby, but i could not shake the constant sickness I was having. November 18th comes and is a day I will never forget. I went to lunch with my good friend Shay and her two sisters. We ate at the amazing chipolte and I couldn't get myself to swallow more then two bites. I did everything to distract them from noticing i wasn't eating my meal. I quickly said goodbye, left the scene, and barfed my two bites and every bit of stomach bile up right next to my car in the parking lot. The deja vu of 6 months earlier sets in.

That car drive was one of the worst drives of my life. I kept debating, do I seriously put myself through the embarrassment and pick up a pregnancy test with a baby in my arms?! He is dead asleep, can't i run into Walgreens and leave him in my car? Maybe I should wait and have my mom watch him? The concerns, questions, embarrassment, kept coming until I drove myself straight to the Walgreens by my house. I grabbed my just barely 6 month old baby and bought myself a pack of pregnancy test. I made sure to make zero eye contact with the cash register lady, and tried to act like i was just the babysitter of the baby i was carrying.

I come home to an empty house and first thing I do is go to the bathroom. There was no "wait two - three minutes" for the result. It was immediate. Two bright pink lines starring back at my face. The tears, panic, terror came instantly. All i can think to do is frantically call Glen at work in complete hysterics, tell him the news, and ask him to please come home from work right now. As he laughingly and joyfully responded and explained to me how excited he was, he knew that for the safety of myself and unborn child he better come home fast.

That night we decided we weren't going to tell anyone for a while. That lasted all of 12 hours. The following morning i went down into my mom's room and hysterically told her the recent news. Not knowing what was wrong she was thinking the worst of the worst and that something terrible happened to someone in Glen's family. But no I finally got the words out "I'm pregnant" threw all the tears. And what did she do??? In typical Sheniquia fashion she laughed and told me there was no way, it wasn't possible because i was breastfeeding and on the pill and that I must of had a false positive.

I assured her i was without question pregnant. During our conversation I explained to her that I had been taking the pill every single day, even after my first initial thought of possibly being pregnant. I even took the pill the same day I took the pregnancy test so my baby was most certainly going to come out an alien or something terrible. She then freaked me out and made me call an OB. They were obviously concerned seeing as I was breastfeeding, on birth control, and had no idea how far a long I was. I went down to the office and in a mater of minutes, had a urine test and blood test that all confirmed I was pregnant. I was then sent to get an ultrasound and with tears rolling down my face I see a little blueberry, and then hear the heartbeat. Talk about something coming at you full force. I felt like i couldn't catch my breath and needed a minute or ten to process it all.

I don't think my doctors or ultrasound tech knew how to deal with me. I was still a mess and in complete shock. I explained to them i had a six month old baby at home and that this could not be happening to me. I think i even mentioned to them that I had a lot of family and friends trying to get pregnant, and that I was not one of them and had no desire. One doctor turned to me and said, "you've beaten a lot of odds here, I chalk this one up to divine intervention". Not what I was wanting to hear at the time, but in the end it helped.

So there you have it. I am pregnant because of divine intervention. Doctor said so! I am pregnant because someone sees the bigger pictures and has big plans for my little family. I'm pregnant because during our temple sealing the sealer spoke of the many children that were waiting to come join us on earth and apparently they didn't like my timetable of two- three year age gaps between each child.

I am every bit as sick and miserable this second time around. The only difference, I really really really wanted Preston. It made the misery and sickness worth it. This time, i feel like I'm being a bad mom to Preston and that he is totally getting the short end of the stick. I'm not as fun or patient as I used to be. I want to lay on the couch all day and sleep all the sickness away. Poor Preston. Glad he wont remember any of this.

Im 13 weeks and due the 15th of July. That makes these two children 14 months and 5 days apart. Sound like fun? Glen's excited.

PS... THIS IS MY 100TH BLOG POST. I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD CELEBRATE!